Baby, It's Codependent Outside

Ok, so it's Christmas time, and out comes all of the Christmas music. I really enjoy the music of the season; well except for the cheese assault of Christmas Shoes. That song should be banished from the annals of recording history.

Anyway - here's the question. Have you ever really liked a song only to have it ruined when you discover the lyrical content? I hate it when that happens... Kinda like "You Are My Sunshine" which is nothing short of the National Anthem for codependents everywhere. Don't believe me? Go check out the lyrics and get back with me.

So, yesterday on a drive back from Charlotte, we were listening to Sirius channel 81, which is their Christmas music channel. I love to hear Dean Martin sing, so it was a thrill to hear one of his songs come on. Have you heard him sing, "Baby It's Cold Outside"? It's just so good. Usually, you hear this song only in the background while shopping, or at parties, right? Sure, I caught the playful banter between the man and woman, but yesterday I really paid attention to it.

It is an incredible look at the narcissistic sex addict and a codependent - all wrapped up neatly into a charming Christmas package. Take a look at these lyrics and watch as the codpendent tries again and again to establish a boundary. Notice how she is highly image conscious and the boundaries center around what others will think. Then take note how the narcissistic addict continues to be concerned, only with satisfying his own wants and needs. The only concern for her is really only manipulation to get what he wants. Take a look.

"I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice
My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry
well Maybe just a half a drink more - Put some music on while I pour

The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink - No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, sir - Mind if I move a little closer
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride
I really can't stay - Baby don't hold out
Ahh, but it's cold outside

C'mon baby

I simply must go - Baby, it's cold outside
The answer is no - Ooh baby, it's cold outside
This welcome has been - I'm lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm -- Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious - Man, your lips look so delicious
My brother will be there at the door - Waves upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious - Gosh your lips look delicious
Well maybe just a half a drink more - Never such a blizzard before

I've got to go home - Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me your comb - It's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand - Your eyes are like starlight now
But don't you see - How can you do this thing to me
There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Making my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied - If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can't stay - Get over that old out
Ahh, but it's cold outside

Baby it's cold outside

Brr its cold….
It's cold out there
Cant you stay awhile longer baby
Well…..I really shouldn't...alright

Make it worth your while baby
Ahh, do that again…."

Ah, the charm of the holidays - all with a reference to a date rape drug. "Say, what's in this drink?" My favorite line of the male? What's the use in hurting my pride? Because, really, there's no love in this at all, and his fear of rejection comes to the surface. The pressure then amps up when he moves in for the tried and true motivation of guilt! "how can you do this thing to me? Make my lifelong sorrow?"

According to the song, it all worked out for the male as she needs to borrow a comb before trying to hit the door once again. Doesn't it just make you want to focus on a manger in Bethlehem and the power of God coming in the flesh?

Anyway, wasn't really looking to ruin a Christmas favorite here, but Teresa and I were really blown away as we listened to it. Initially, we were fascinated at his persistent disrespect of her boundaries. Then I read the lyrics, and so many other issues jumped up. I just had to share...

What songs have you loved only to have them destroyed when you really looked at the lyrics?

Along The Way

Ummm, Remember me? My name is Tal and I occasionally used to write here.

So sorry, friends. Life has been crazy and I had started my blog as a way to relax since writing is one of the things that relaxes me. The drag is that I started to feel pressure to write, and honestly I felt pressure to "be impressive." It switched from being a place for me to just let loose, to a performance based exercise in which I was trying to be impressive. Sorry about that - but that is all on me. I just needed to take a break from writing - what was meant to be relaxing and interactive became another job.

Now - I am working on a new blog, and all of this will migrate (hopefully!) Hopefully in the next week or so, we'll be up and running there. I'll let you know.

On Friday, November 14 I'll be hosting Along The Way in the midwest from noon to 2:00 PM Central. Click on the link if you would like to listen over the internet. If you can't listen, please pray for me during the show. That would be very helpful!

Thanks for hanging in with me, and praying with and for me.

I'll keep you posted on the new blog that is on the way!