Back on the Radio

Hey Friends,

Please pray for me as I'm going back on the radio this Thursday afternoon. I will be on a show that airs throughout the midwest called, "Along the Way with Kim Jeffries." Kim is a featured speaker at the Ruth Graham conferences that I have started doing recently.

She is very transparent about her life, so you know I appreciate her! She made the decision to have an abortion when she was younger, and carried that by herself for over 23 years, and now ministers to the thousands of women that feel guilt and shame from making the same choice. She is a woman who understands the radical grace of the Gospel of Jesus.

The show can be heard by clicking here and then clicking on the listen online link on the right side of the page. I hope to be taking some calls while on the air, so call in!

I'll be on from 12:15 to 12:45 Central Standard Time. Please listen in, and most of all, please pray that God will be glorified and that slaves will be set free tomorrow!

Thank you!

16 Response to "Back on the Radio"

  • Anonymous Says:

    Well, hi! I am a female who knew you in your “pre-reform” days at Riverwood. I’m listening to the radio broadcast today and find your comments interesting. Good luck to you in your work. You will need it! Oh, and the first thing I noticed is that you have developed a Southern, Baptist minister-type accent – how funny! Don’t lose the things about you that always made you so special and cool, OK? But God bless you, Tal. I really think you are sincere about all this, or at least really trying to be!

  • Tal Prince Says:

    Hello Anonymous female from my pre-reform days at Riverwood. I'm glad you were listening today!

    I hope that you are well wherever, and whoever, you are.

    You are the first person to ever describe my accent as Southern, let alone Southern Baptist Minister type, but we live in Birmingham, Alabama now so I just may not sound "southern" here.

    I appreciate your taking the time to come by my blog and write a comment. This is a tough ministry to be a part of, but this addiction nearly killed me and I know there are so many others out there struggling and it is a privilege to be used in this way.

    Trust me, there was never anything special or cool about me. Most of it was a facade.

    Let us know if we can ever be of any help to you or anyone you know!

    God Bless You!

  • Anonymous Says:

    So does this mean that you never played guitar on stage with major country-western acts at that stage north of Atlanta and never played blues at that barbecue place in town? Just curious.

  • Tal Prince Says:

    ummmmmm, yes and no.

    Here's the thing - I was a guy who never thought anyone could really like me. I knew all the secrets I was hiding in my life and was absolutely convinced that the "real" me was simply not enough.

    As much as I hate to say it, I had no honest relationships in my life until I got into recovery. I lied to girls to get them to sleep with me, which only made things worse. It was a such a trap because I lied to get what I wanted, but then felt awful because they hadn't slept with me - they had slept with a lie, and now I knew if I told them the truth they would hate me. Do you see how awful the whole cycle was?

    I grieve over the lies I told and the women that I lied to and took advantage of. I was so selfish and only cared about myself. Occasionally, I get e-mails from some of the women that I was in relationships with as they find out about the ministry I'm involved in, and they are very angry. They have every right to be, and all I can do is apologize profusely, though I neither expect, nor deserve their forgiveness.

    About the guitar - I did play guitar in several blues clubs in Atlanta - Fatt Matt's is the place you referred to, and I played at Blues Harbor and Blind Willie's. I had a few friends that were songwriters and great musicians in the area, and they just allowed me to sit in with them. I was never really good at the guitar. Playing with major country acts is a gross overstatement. I hung around backstage sometimes, but never played with them. That was a lie. I'm sorry for that.

    I'm going to guess that your first name starts with the letter C or A?

    How in the world did you hear the show today?

  • Anonymous Says:

    Yeah, *either* C OR A -- but who's the other one?! Just kidding. Did you once have a huge crisis with your gallbladder and have it taken out with all kinds of complications, or was that a big lie, too? Never mind, I hold no grudge against you whatsoever, and I think I understand you. Guess what? I would have still liked it if you had let me see the real you with all your "stuff." Really.

    So how it is that you were able to commit enough to a woman to get married? Or did that only happen after you got into recovery?

    Again, I wish you the best. I suspect I'm just illustrating here some of the problems in your past that you have preached about, so maybe this interchange will lend additional credibility to your cause!

  • Tal Prince Says:

    The gall bladder is...drumroll please...TRUE! It was 5 times the size of a normal gall bladder and had 27 stones inside.

    Getting married...Here's a tragic truth about sex addicts - we get married thinking that will fix everything. Especially as a follower of Christ - you think - hey - I'll get married and then I'll be able to have all the God sanctioned sex I want! Woo-Hoo!

    I truly was in love with Teresa, and wanted to be free. I thought if I could get away from porn, everything would be great. But there were times I would go back to it.

    She would catch me and I would stone cold lie to her. I was just sure if she knew, that she would leave me.

    I really was committed to her, but I would slip up from time to time. Sometimes months, or even over a year. But it was not enough - I wasn't in recovery. It was just behavior modification.

    In seminary we learned about sexual addiction, and it was an amazing time for both of us. We both learned how common it is, and how it starts. That allowed us to have the right climate to talk openly about everything.

    I told her about my struggles and my failures and asked for her forgiveness. She was, and is, amazing. After a while, we got into therapy and actual recovery.

    Now we have a real intimate marriage, and that is always what I was after, I just thought intimacy was sex. Not true.

    We are all after intimacy. I just thought for most of my life that it was sex. Now I know what true intimacy is, and it is a life changing experience. The Gospel is intimacy, and when we understand that and get it on the horizontal plane as well, it is truly amazing and freeing.

    Coming where I came from, and dealing with abuse in my background really made me feel unlovable and like I needed to create a mask that people would love. I changed it often to fit in where I was.

    Now I don't wear a mask, and life is much better. I realize my significance is not in what others think about me, or my performance. It is in the fact that Jesus Christ died for me.

  • Anonymous Says:

    I'm sorry, Tal, I didn't realize you had been abused as a child but that explains a lot. Was it verbal abuse or something physical? You don't have to answer that. It sounds like Teresa is a great match for you. Not many women would relish the fact of having a husband engaged in the kind of ministry you are engaged in. For one thing, ministers are always high profile and therefore become targets of admiration for many women. Add in the sex addict/porn declaration...well, she must not be the jealous type. Again, best of luck. Having lost track of you for many, many years I was kind of astounded to stumble across you on the internet and see what you are doing now. But I am beginning to "get" it.

  • Anonymous Says:

    Dear Anonymous...

    You are so right, Tal and I are a perfect match. We were two perfect masks that found one another. Did we marry knowing everything about one another- no although I thought we did. However, God had plans then, has plans now, and more for the future. I am very proud and honored to be married to Tal... much more today coming through this than on the day that we married.

    You are so right that I am not a jealous person. I used to be because I had so much of my identity wrapped up in him. I had my suspicions and questions but always let him talk me out of what I believed to be true... all addicts are great liars. I questioned if I should be so harsh in what I expected out of a husband and off we went... I did anything to keep up the image that I thought we were supposed to show- a happily married couple.

    I wore a mask just like him pretending...pretending not to be confused and crushed with the random emails or images that I would find on the computer... pretending that I was happy when I was walking around reminding myself that God was a righteous judge. I like so many lived a very pretend life.

    I was just as much lying as him, my lies just looked different and cleaner in someone's eye's who had not gone through this...

    I am more real today not only in my relationship with Tal but in all of my relationships. The crap of my past that had build up around the person that God created me to be was blocking out so much of the real me. As I dealt with the fact that my parents divorced, my mom chose other men over me, my dad had a new family and we were encouraged to be the peacemakers, my sister and I... it is no wonder that I was not living real and overloooking things that I should stand up and address.

    This happens to more families than any of us realize. I really believe that on some level all families are touched by this... the more the word gets out and families seek help, the more families can live more intimate marriages than they ever imagined.

    To any that are reading this that feel jealous and think you can be enough or do enough to keep your spouse from porn... YOU CAN'T! What you can do is get the help yourself to get healthy and live real and then real change can begin.

    :) Teresa

  • Garrett Says:

    Man...this is a lot of stuff in just one day! Great post Teresa. So I have to ask on thing..."major country-western acts"!!??!?! So like who are we talking about here...Garth Brooks? Willie Nelson? Charle Pride? Waylon Jennings? Merle Haggard? Did you play the Grand Ole Opry or meet Johnny Cash? Or are you talking about some junk like Hayseed Dixie?

  • Anonymous Says:

    The one I remember hearing about for sure from Tal, garrett, was Vince Gill. Also Trisha Yearwood, I think. Teresa, thanks for sharing. Your words have made a real, positive impact on me. I, too, have experienced the pain of a broken home and I know what that does to kids. I am realizing now that this issue is so much bigger than just the "smut" issue which tends to make people snicker behind their hands. I appreciate the honesty of you guys. Rock on!

  • Anonymous Says:

    Oh, and Nanci Griffith. I remember Tal talking about playing with her for sure. I'm really having to dig back in my memory banks, but this guy made a *huge* impact on me back in the day. I was always more than a little suspicious of his claims, though! And I never thought we were in an exclusive relationship.

  • Anonymous Says:

    Divorce and the pains of childhood are big issues and do make an impact. I thought I had a great situation considering my parent's divorced and I thought I had it so much better than others I knew. I did but it still does not mean that it did not affect me.

    I am sorry to hear that you come from that background as well but am not surprised. If you liked, dated whatever it was you felt or had with Tal. I am sure you and I are alike in many ways because we both would have worn the mask that attracted someone like that.

    Had I left Tal without getting counseling and help myself, I would have married another of him... different packaging/ mask but same person at the core.

    My dad was an alcoholic and stopped drinking completely when I was 4 years old. As a result, I thought it was so great and could not identify with others who had parents drinking and living out the brutal and hard to live through part of alcoholism. I so admired my dad for quiting on his own and still do. I just wish that someone could have told him then that without counseling and working through WHY he became an alcoholic... he would still be rasiing us in an addict home... basically he was a dry drunk.... no alcohol but all the patterns were passed on. We all have to start living real and getting help from one another. That is what our church is all about.

    Are you married?

    If you are hurting or have had this continue in your life, I pray that you will find a Christian counselor to help you work through the pains that we carry with us. It was so freeing and continues to be to be able to live out in the open, not anonymous hiding behind a mask for safety.

    I am sure you are a wonderful person and prayerfully in time we can all know that person and you will join in the ministry to reach those that are trapped in relationships filled with deception and addiction.

    I am sure Tal did talk up the band experiences... like I said all addicts are liars and really, really good ones. LIke you I had my suspicions but something about us allowed us to overlook those and hang in.

    Today I would be so far gone and out the door at the first sign of something like that with friends.... can't say in dating relationships since I have been out of that scene for 12 years. But really, I can see falling for those things and hearing what we wanted to hear back then .... thinking in the end it could be/ would be all be o.k.

    Best to you
    :) Teresa

  • Anonymous Says:

    Teresa, I think you are right; you and I have a lot in common and could be great friends. Yep, I’m married, very happily, for the last 6 years. I am so lucky to have found a wonderful husband – heaven knows I didn’t necessarily deserve one as completely wonderful and understanding as I have!

    When I was involved with Tal I am ashamed to say that I was simultaneously sexually involved with three different men. This occurred after my long-time, live-in fiancĂ© left me for another woman. I have figured out that I was trying to prove to myself that I was desirable, but you have opened my eyes to some new considerations. One of these men was 18 years older than I was (very unsuitable for other reasons, too), another was married (!), and Tal was….well, he could always make me laugh, which I loved, but I finally decided he had Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In other words…yep, there were obvious problems with the guy. I just didn’t know what they were. But all three of these men I was involved with were expert liars. Why was I attracted to that? I never considered it before.

    That was the only time in my life, before or since, that I behaved that irresponsibly. This interchange helps me understand myself better. You’re right, I still need some work! “Wearing a mask” – that’s probably a good way to put it. I would certainly be mortified to sign my name to these posts. My friends and family would not recognize me here since I always worked hard to make sure my public image was above reproach.

  • Anonymous Says:

    Did we used to know each other (Teresa talking of course)? Did you refer to me as J21? :) If it is you, I would love to talk to you sometime... the past is the past... I hold no grudge and know things did not end well with our friendship. I am sorry for my part of that and would really like to be in touch. email me at my email: if it is you

  • Anonymous Says:

    No, we have never met. I hope that puts your mind at ease in some way. I would be honored to be your friend, I can tell you that much! But I am not someone you know.

    I have always had problems with being a "people pleaser." I think that's part of the problem here, too.

    Well, I am sure Tal (and you, Teresa!) didn't set up this site for free therapy (and would undoubtedly tell me that you are not qualified to offer that anyway) so I will back away now. I'm glad I got a glimpse into your life, and I'm so pleased it's peaceful and happy for you!

  • Anonymous Says:

    Glad to have met you if only briefly here... we wish you well. There is such hope, help and healing. We pray that God will richly bless your life and your marriage.

    You are fearfully and wonderfully created... all of what we have been through can be used for good... if we can face it, surrender it to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and find the identity in Him that we were created to have. It is more fulfilling and freeing that any relationships that the world has to offer.

    We were not created to wear the masks that we create as we grow up and walk through the pains of life... we throw on the masks to protect ourselves but really we push reality farther and farther away. A "people pleaser" seems great but not when secretly you have to carry so much. You are worth fighting for... I hope that you will get some help to work through the hurts you have experienced.