Virtual Sexuality

I'm taking a little time away from everything right now. That's new for me. The concept of a sabbath rest. Working two jobs and taking calls and e-mails from people trapped in prison of porn has made me more tired than I have ever been in my life. Honestly, I had never been more physically and emotionally fatigued than I was last Sunday.

God graciously provided a place for me down at the beach to just sit and be alone. It has been a great week of nothing. I've been sitting in a little coffee shop down here in Gulf Shores, Alabama called "The Dizzy Bean." I'm not quite sure who made the rule that coffee shops have to have names like that, but I am thankful for the reminder that grace applies to them to. Shocking, but true.

One of the things I like to do, but haven't in awhile is to go to movies by myself. So, yesterday I did just that. As I sat there watching the trailers of upcoming movies, I was surprised by what I saw. Coming out soon is an adaptation of Beowulf. This is computer animated with what looks to be the same process as The Polar Express.

Did that creep anyone out besides me? That movie and those Charles Schwab commercials with the animation really creep me out.

Anyway, a couple sitting behind me watched the preview as they loudly crunched their popcorn, the wife leaned over to her husband and said, "Look how real that looks. It's amazing how real that is."

I was surprised by that comment, but then I remembered how often we all say that. Most of us say it in reference to all of the improvements in video game technology. "It just looks so real." I even said it about Mattel's Intellivision video game system when I was in high school. It was a joke, but we all marveled at how real it looked in comparison to Atari and their silly little Space Invaders.

There were several previews of upcoming films, and a commercial for a new video game with this computer generated animation. The wife continued to say each time, "Look at that. It just so real."

I started to question it in my head each time she spoke - which was a lot. Each time she said it, a little voice in my head responded, "Really?"

What is going on in our world that we prefer virtual reality to reality? In movies it allows characters to do things that actual actors couldn't do, and it allows effects to be carried out without risking the lives and limbs of stunt people. But is it really real?

Real has risk. Real requires risk.

Reality TV isn't always all that real either. It was recently disclosed that MTV's The Hills is not even close to being real. The past season of Big Brother was not real. The producers changed the rules on the fly to ensure the final two that they wanted. What media puts in front of us as reality seldom is real.

Porn, my friends, is not real. It is a projection of reality that is beyond fake. We want to convince ourselves that it is real, but it is not. It is sex outside of relationship. It is sex devoid of intimacy, and where there is no intimacy there is no reality.

We flock to porn and label it as real, and many want it to be real. We want to believe that sex is really like that. We use to label porn as fantasy, but no longer. It is labeled reality, and there is now a whole genre of pornography centered around "reality." But it is not real.

People are still being paid. People are still being objectified and scripted. People are still being exploited, and people are still addicted.

We get addicted to this false reality, and then don't know how to cope with actual reality. This virtual reality makes actual reality seem so disappointing. We actually begin to crave virtual reality over actual reality because it looks better. Isn't that exactly how porn works?

Reality, my friends, requires risk. The risk of intimacy. The risk of letting our masks fall and allow people to see who we really are. That's reality. That's intimacy. It's not virtual reality - it's actual reality. It is scary, and it is risky but it's real.

When you step out and live life like that people will look at you and say, "Look how real he/she is. They are just so real."

It's SO much better and more exhilarating. Take the risk, it's worth it.

Come on - get real.

2 Response to "Virtual Sexuality"

  • Garrett Says:

    Bishop! What you said is so true...perhaps some remarks about the reality of killing one's horse and the desperate attempt to gather the necessary potions would have done a great deal to help us who don't seem to be able to tell the difference between what is real and what looks so real...but you can't please everybody. I am glad you got some good rest and I hope you have a good day Saturday. BTW...what movie did you see?

  • Anonymous Says:


    A great post. Porn is no different than any other drug, it distorts reality, lies to the senses and leave me wanting a more powerful high...problem is, the high is always followed by such incredible lows and then the process starts over again...addiction has reality but when faced, it is ugly.

    In the book Dirty Little Secrets written by Craig Gross of A christian man who was studying journalism decided to go on a porn shoot. This man said he knew he should not do it, he justified it by telling himself he was doing it from a journalism point of view.

    He said many of his college friends said he was going to "live every college kids dream"...this is our world today.

    As the day of the shoot came he was nervous as he met the "Cast". He said everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves until the filming started...he said from that point and during multiple breaks no one laughed anymore, no one hardly said a word. He said he felt you could sense that everyone in that room knew what they were doing was distroying lives.

    This man said when one of the breaks came (they break every 8-10 min) The woman who before the filming stopped you would have thought she really was having fun...this woman was curled up in a ball crying softly, sucking her thumb as another woman held her in her arms and rocked her. This man had had enough and could not watch any more.

    He said he lost a piece of himself that day and that it haunts him to this day.

    There is nothing real in porn, except maybe for the total destruction of someones life...

    It is such a lie.

    Please keep up the great work of God Tal...You are a great man of God.

    Steve in Colorado